Absolute Beginners
by bitexmarks
Summary: It's been years since they had been part of the same movie, a movie that not only led them to a land which was perfect and poisonous, but also to each other. Love is a hard thing to forget.


**This is a Jonathan Rhys Meyers/ Ewan Mcgreggor fic. It's intended for older readers so I will give it an M rating.**

**Absolute Beginners**

Darkness had finally come and covered the land with a fine sheath of velvet black.

Jonathan paced in his hotel room uneasily, his bare feet making the faintest of noises as he moved across the richly carpeted floor.

A sigh broke the otherwise Louisiana silence, the Marti Gras had been left far behind, in another time, in another world, so long ago.

Jonathan breathed in softly, his fingers slithering up to the fine ivory, silk curtains draped across the window, and with an insane slowness he gently moved the material to one side, looked outside and whispered softly into the silent night, 'I wish you were here.'

It had been years since they had last seen each other, ever since they had both taken part in 'Velvet Goldmine'. Man, what a time that was, their days were filled with glitter and wild clothes, the cast and crew around them seemed to have vanished and in its place would stand a flock of shiny glitter-stars, every single one of them flocking and fussing over Jonathan Rhys Myers and Ewan McGregor.

Jonathan winced quietly, the memories cutting into him like a jagged blade as he let his thoughts consume him.

The days of make-believe led into nights and in their hotel rooms they would sit together, sharing a bottle of Chardonnay as they talked about the world and everything else, illuminated by a thousand candles that he had lit before.

'Tell me about your life, your dreams, your fears Ewan. Tell me every single detail of yourself. I want to know it all…..to drink it in.' Jonathan's eyes would get huge, his irises wild as he spoke to the other with a liquid tongue. Drinking always made him more sociable.

Ewan would just laugh, the rings of kohl liner he had worn before remained around his gorgeous eyes, now having turned into faint smudges of washed out grey, erased slightly for Ewan had rubbed them before and proclaimed he was getting tired.

'Tomorrow will come all too soon, we still have half a bottle of Chardonnay left, let's not let it go to waste.'

And Ewan would toss his head back, dyed blond hair would fall like a cascading waterfall over his back and he would tell him that he had ALREADY had too much to drink.

'Some more then…' Jonathan would reply with a coy smile and re-fill his co-stars glass to the rim.

He remembered those nights so well.

Ewan and he would drink until the bottle had run dry then Ewan would blasphemies the too warm weather and pout like a drunken child. Oh those lips! They were so divine! So pretty! If only he could get one….yes, God just one taste!

'You mind if I take my shirt off?'

Jonathan was thrust out of his recollections as Ewan began to slip his short-sleeved black top off his head and toss it abruptly next to the sofa.

'I…' A shake of his head. God, he had seen Ewan without his top before during the filming. Why was he trembling now? 'No, I don't mind.'

Ewan's beautiful eyes turned to him and he began to chuckle, an unfathomable and filling sound, deep within the back of his throat. 'What the fuck J, are you cold?'

Jonathan just then realized that he was shaking like a leaf, and quite embarrassed to why he was shaking. 'I….no.'

'Then why are you trembling like you're out in the Arctic butt-naked?'

Word felt foreign and Jonathan could not form the right syllables around his tongue in order to reply to Ewan, all he could do was give his shoulders a light shrug and look away from the beauty before him.

'Hey, you know what we need?' Ewan suddenly chirped.

_'To get naked and screw?'_ Jonathan though then bit his lip. He should NOT be thinking this way, he should not!

'We need some music, right?'

Music. Yes. just nodded as he diverted his gaze back to Ewan as the man got up off the sofa and made his way to an elaborate cd collection.

'Check this out.' He said loudly and picked up a David Bowie cd. Inspecting it with a smile he slipped it into the cd player and the machine gave a faint whirling noise as it came to life. 'Jonathan,' Ewan uttered and began to turn on his heal slowly after he hit play giving Jonathan a heat-breaking smile; head lowered seductively, eyes screaming lust.

Jonathan's lips part giving him an ethereal, seductive look as his glance rose to meet the other man. 'Yah, ' he nodded as Ewan extended his hand and waited until Jonathan had slipped his own into his and gently rose.

'I usually like the quicker stuff yanno,' Ewan began as he led Jonathan a few feet back, his eyes dripping with intoxication. 'But this cd of Bowies…man…it's just sexy.'

Jonathan nodded, indeed it was. The older glam-rocker's voice was rich as honey and seemed to melt over one's soul delightfully.

'Hey, J….' Ewan uttered, his hand still holding onto Jonathan's as if intentionally forgotten there. 'Move with me.'

Maybe he was dreaming, yes, that's it, it was a dream, a beautiful dream but there he was, Ewan McGreggor's body slowly pressing up against him, hips joined together as they began to sway to the music.

'A dream, oh man, if it is a dream,'.thought Jonathan, 'please don't ever let me wake up.'

Their heads were dizzy, the darkness and the alcohol trying to make them both into what they truly wanted to be that night…each other's lover.

Jonathan let his eyes close as the music took control. Ewan began to speak 'You know you look unreal.'

His breath caught in his throat.

'Like some fucking angel. The world would have never seen true beauty…'

His heart skipped a beat.

'If it had not seen you,' Ewan leaned in and placed a kiss upon Jonathan's neck making the other man moan in shock and delight.

'I saw the way you were looking at me before J, it wasn't the wine, was it?'

Jonathan shook his head and let his eyes open and melt into Ewan's. 'No,' he whispered under his breath.

Ewan looked at him intensely.

Then the longer haired man stepped back, stole his hand and lifted it to run it through his blond locks. As silent as a heart-beat Ewan turned on his heal and headed towards the bedroom door pausing just before he took hold of the brass knob. His eyes sunk deep into Jonathan's for a precious moment and he could have sworn that the room had suddenly become alive with glitter and gold.

Then, with a silence so erotic it almost brought Jonathan to his knees Ewan opened the door and stepped inside the bedroom.

'Come...'

Jonathan followed Ewan in and found him already lying upon the bed, looking like a large, seductive feline. 'Come closer J….' uttered Ewan.

Jonathan obliged and moved towards the old Victorian, four-poster bed. Slow as a lover's languishing touch Jonathan crawled upon the bed and lay down beside the other, his eyes rising to look upon Ewan's face. 'Could you...will you…' Jonathan began.

'Anything.'

'Kiss me Ewan?'

'Of course.'

Ewan leaned over and touched his lips to Jonathan's. David Bowie's voice slipped into the room, serenading them. "There's nothing much to offer, there's nothing more to take. I'm an absolute beginner and I'm absolutely sane."

Jonathan leaned into the kiss; he waited for this for so long. Not just the fake camera kisses they had to do when filming, no this was a real kiss, one offered from the heart.

'I want you Ewan…' he cried out as he broke the kiss, 'I want you so bad.'

'Then take me J, say that I am yours tonight.'

Lips touched again, over and over making soft, moist noises as they met in perfect harmony. Tongue slipped together, dancing in each other's mouths with great desire and need.

'Your lips are like velvet….'

'You taste of wine…..'

Hands rested, on torsos, on hips, pulling the other's body closer. 'I want to feel you,' Jonathan murmured softly as he slipped his head down to the man's slender chest.

Ewan arched his back dramatically as Jonathan's tongue worked over his skin with his warm, wet, tongue. The sounds that bled into the night were intoxicating, and Jonathan's mind began to swirl with glorious giddiness. It was as if the whole world had vanished and there was nothing left but Ewan's gorgeous body and Bowie's amazing voice there just for him.

Ewan moaned with desire as he finally let his body fall back down on the bed. His hands rose and slithered like serpents through Jonathan's hair.

'You mouth,' Choked Ewan swallowing a mouthful of saliva, 'your mouth is fucking unreal.'

'I am dreaming,' Jonathan whispered softly as Ewan's lips part in an erotic moan, his kohl-smudged eyes closed, shunning Jonathan of the sight of his beautiful orbs.

'If it's a dream make it unreal,' uttered Ewan in a breathless tone, his hand moving down and around, cupping Jonathan's face as he opened his eyes. 'Kiss me again….' And he tilted the pretty boy's face up, eye to eye, caught in a heart-stopping moment before letting their lips; once again, find each other in a kiss that nearly took Jonathan's breath away.

Like a violin Ewan tugged at his heart-strings, creating a melody so fine that even Beethoven would become envious, twining him, strumming him in this blissful harmony of whispers and gasps.

'Ewan, I...'

'Shh J,' and Ewan brought his finger up to Jonathan's lips and shushed him, 'don't say anything, and for God's sake J, don't tell me to stop, please, please just…fuck…don't!'

Lips met again and again while the room filled with their haunting sounds. Their hands worked upon clothes, crying in near agony as they tore them off and tossed them upon the floor.

If heaven exists this is what it feels like, soft as a whisper, smooth as a rose petal making breathtaking sounds with an angel's voice.

'When tomorrow comes...' Jonathan began and his words were stolen away with a kiss.

'Fuck tomorrow….we've got right now,'

The night trickled on and the ghosts of long past slithered their way into the room and watched the two beautiful creatures writhing upon the bed in grand awe.

For they were divine.

'Am I yours?' Jonathan asked the selfish, un-lit room and in reply he heard it utter in Ewan's alcohol-laced voice.

'For now…..'

The music played on while tears trickled out of the corners of Jonathan's eyes and his lover bent to them and licked them away.

'For now…'

Jonathan stepped back from the curtains, too many long, lost years. Too many since that night had happened, yet the scent of Ewan still remained in that very same room, the room that they had fallen in love in. Ewan's ghost still lingered there tormenting, haunting Jonathan and his thoughts.

'Once more…' Jonathan uttered into the emptiness. 'If only I could have you just one more time.'

With a heavy heart and a broken soul he made his way to the c.d player and slipped in the old Bowie c.d. A c.d he had listened to whenever he missed Ewan, which was quite often.

A bitter-sweet memory they he often liked to heighten with the aid of alcohol.

'If I had one wish…' he whispered into the wretched night, 'it would be for you….' And he pressed the play button then moved to the small bar. 'to be here with me.'

Jonathan's hand reached for the opened bottle of Chardonnay and he poured himself a glass.

'But wishes only come true in movies, don't they?' He paused, glass in hand and waited for a reply. A reply that the empty night could not give him for it lacked what Jonathan needed.

It lacked Ewan.

_"If our love song could fly over mountains...could laugh at the ocean just like the films."_

He sighed deeply, his eyes closing as he desperately tried to block out his pain.

The a new sound blend in with the sensual song slipping through the speakers and in a deep, sensual tone it uttered.

'Sometimes if you wish hard enough some wishes do come true….'

Jonathan's eyes snapped open and his head spun as he looked around trying to locate the phantom tone.

'And sometimes if two people wish for the same thing hard enough then maybe, just maybe, that wish will come true….' A shadow moved his way and slowly took form, head cocked, a small smile upon his sensual lips as he added, 'just like in the movies.'

Ewan stepped into view and gazed at his long, lost lover long and hard as he whispered.

'For now….forever…Jonathan.'


End file.
